Here’s Jane’s story.
How brave and humbling. This is another example that shows that continuous effort pays off. We never know the full story of someone’s life until the kindly choose to share it with us. Then we can become inspired.
Hi I’m Jane and I would like to share my story with you all and explain how happy and grateful I am for this opportunity to join you all in this retreat and how it has helped me.
I came to the meditation centre about a year ago, in quite a desperate situation. Coming from quite a difficult childhood, which I am not going to bore you with, I have experienced lots of periods of depression Blar Blar blar ! It was always my intention to do things differently for my children, to always be there for them etc etc and I’ve tried to support my son, who is nearly 32 now, with his drug problem that began when he was in late teens. I was devastated when I discovered this and even more so when I realised my help was not enough. His circumstances are not good and the rollercoaster of emotions for me has sometimes been so unbearable it has made me question my purpose in life and many much darker thoughts. Then one day I walked into this strange little place one Saturday afternoon.
I have to admit at first, I wondered how on earth this was going to help me but something drew me back week after week. I have persevered with the strange terminology and ideas and nearly didn’t come back after hearing Sherab talk about the mind not being in the head
Sometimes I came away feeling more agitated then when I had arrived, but only because out of ignorance I was trying too hard to see results not realising this was going to take time, patience and great effort.
So ………….. along comes lockdown and with that a whole bunch of additional anxieties for me to worry about and just as I’m about to totally give up there’s a man in a yellow and maroon outfit talking about challenging himself to do a 21 day live stream retreat. OMG, let me tell you this has completely turned my head and as more and more pennies drop I can feel the calmness and contentment I have been wishing and praying for.
This experience taught me my own self cherishing was the creator of the panic, worry and distress around my son and my wish for his recovery was, in a way, to ease my own suffering not his. It then dawned on me that it would make absolutely no sense to wish for my suffering to end without including him which lead me to the conclusion that I would have to include everybody else as they were already in the same boat as me and I could not save myself without saving all of them !
This and many more lightbulb moments have made this Lamrin retreat the most precious and kindest thing anyone has ever given me and I don’t have the words to express the gratitude I have for everyone who has made this possible. I am in no doubt now what my aspiration is and I could not have discovered this without the knowledge and skills of such an inspiring spiritual guide and kind and caring Shanga.The proof came to me over the last few days when I discovered my son’s situation has further deteriorated ( homeless) and I have not “fallen apart” which has been my default position for years. I know I have a long way to go but this corona retreat has provided me with a strong determination to incorporate everything I am learning into my everyday life. May that dharma wheel keep on turning for me and everybody else.
Thank you for listening